In your first verse, your last line is separate from the rest, but in the other verses it's included with the verse. I thought it was cool separated; it made it stand out and have more impact. Then you have some verses that don't have that last line. It threw me off, as a reader.

You have some verses longer than others, so I wasn't sure if they got accidently put together or what.

'tasting still the bitter swill' isn't divided by a comma like the others. Just an observation.

Well, that was an interesting read! You left me hanging a bit. Who rescued him, who cares for him in his broken state....don't mind me, I'm a mother/grandmother...we think like that! lol

Thanks for the time and effort you put into this and for sharing it with us.