%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4242168 |
 | Invalid Item  [] |
| (4.0)| Review brought to you by: "Game of Thrones" by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation  PLOT - Stephen is a college student struggling with finances. When his belt breaks, he searches for a replacement to no avail. Creatively he uses rope to keep his pants from falling down, and hears both teasing and praise for the idea. Needing to use the bathroom he soon realizes the mistake of the rope, unable to loosen it or untie it. SETTING - Good descriptions throughout. Images of his skinny frame, eating ramen noodles to make end meet. The scene in the bathroom was vivid as well. CHARACTERS - Stephen who believes he's straight, but being around Keith he begins to question his sexuality. The two interact well, showing how Keith is a little bold, and Stephen is shy. GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE - The knot had tightened while he during the day, and now, in the bathroom, he couldn’t get it unknotted.---missing something, not clear THOUGHTS - Nice discovery story as these two characters interact and Stephen begins to question his sexual orientation. You had a good pace throughout, no rushing especially on the more pivotal scenes in the bathroom. Both characters were memorable. Good descriptions of the different scenes. Just might need a little more heat to really make it sizzle. Write on!   
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You responded to this review 07/23/2016 @ 12:22pm EDT