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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4242572
Review #4242572
Viewing a review of:
 When I am no more  [13+]
~rough draft~
by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm
Review of When I am no more  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)


Greetings, Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm!

My name is Lady Cubbyella and I am one of the sly foxes from the House of Florent. *Fox*

Title: When I Am No More

First Impression: I couldn't believe I happened up this! *Shock* I have been asking myself the exact same questions lately... like this morning, for instance! I don't want to be a single light extinguished!!! *Frown* Anyway, I really connected with this piece. *Thumbsup*

What needs your attention: You do mention this is a rough draft, but it isn't rough at all! *Smile* I think the only thing that stood out was in Stanza 2, second line: shall I see it all I haven't had a chance to see? You might consider omitting the word it--> shall I see all I haven't had a chance to see?

What part I liked best: I liked the part where you talk about reminiscing with those we lost. I lost my mother when I was eight years old. It would be great to see her again! *Heart*

Overall impression: I love to connect to poetry, and this is one I absolutely connected with. I believe you covered about every option possible, at least that I can think of. Nice job!!! *Smile*

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

Have a great day and...
*Fox*  K e e p on W r i t i n g ! *Fox*


Cubby ")


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