When I am no more [13+] ~rough draft~ |
Greetings, Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm! My name is Lady Cubbyella and I am one of the sly foxes from the House of Florent. Title: When I Am No More First Impression: I couldn't believe I happened up this! I have been asking myself the exact same questions lately... like this morning, for instance! I don't want to be a single light extinguished!!! Anyway, I really connected with this piece. What needs your attention: You do mention this is a rough draft, but it isn't rough at all! I think the only thing that stood out was in Stanza 2, second line: shall I see it all I haven't had a chance to see? You might consider omitting the word it--> shall I see all I haven't had a chance to see? What part I liked best: I liked the part where you talk about reminiscing with those we lost. I lost my mother when I was eight years old. It would be great to see her again! Overall impression: I love to connect to poetry, and this is one I absolutely connected with. I believe you covered about every option possible, at least that I can think of. Nice job!!! Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ") A "Simply Positive Review Forum " Review My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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