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Review #4242744
Viewing a review of:
 Dearest Edward  [13+]
A flash fiction addition that I made to the campfire "Missing Sarah".
by Brooklyn
Review of Dearest Edward  
Review by ~ Aqua ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
 
*Shield6* A "Game of Thrones"  *Sun* Martell *Sun* Review *Shield6*
A Review from "SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" 


Hello, Brooklyn ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.


It's been quite some time since I was last in your portfolio and when I was searching for someone to review for WDC Game of Thrones war, your portfolio came to mind and here I am! I was going through items in your stories folder and this particular story caught my attention. The title of your story gave the reader the impression that it will be a letter, a love letter, and it had a sad emotion attached to it that the reader felt. Writing a story in the form of letter is always very intriguing for me and I love reading and writing it.

It was nice of you to let the reader know what was the prompt because the story you have makes a lot of sense and is very emotional. The beginning of your story was good, it set the sad, grieving tone in the story especially when I read that he smelled her perfume on the paper. It just saddened the reader to see that he holds Sarah so close that even after her death, he wants to feel her and smelling her perfume was a way to do it. The beginning of your letter is perfect and immediately captures the attention of the reader who wants to know more about the relationship between Sarah and Edward and the happy times, the good memories they made together all the years in the past. I liked how you mentioned a little bit about the surroundings and how the telephone rang and he didn't answer it. It made the loss all the more hurting and realistic for the reader because in real life, this happens. When we lose someone, we lose sight and don't want to do anything and don't care how we look or how we are clothed. *Heart*

Throughout the letter, you gave the reader the impression that Sarah and Edward were lovers who had been separated by something, let's say distance but they still loved each other and they were possibly married. However, I was very shocked and surprised to read the ending that Edward wasn't her husband, in fact she had married someone else, someone who didn't love her like she deserved. It was very touching, the last line held the most meaning and that is why, it is my favourite part in the entire story *Heart*. Well done, beautifully written! I found no errors in your work.


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