Greetings, victoria31! My name is Lady Cubbyella and I am one of the sly foxes from the House of Florent. Title: And The Rain Poured First Impression: This is so very soothing, Victoria! I, too, love to hear the reverberating music beating the metal roof. I'm glad we have a metal roof. Why is it so soothing, I wonder? It is though. Perhaps it's the repetitiveness that lulls the soul. Great piece! What needs your attention: Oh, it's not that big of a deal, but you might want to consider uncapping the beginning of most of your lines. You can get away with that in free-verse, plus it really helps your words to flow nicer. Here's an example in the first stanza: And the rain poured, Each drop washing my soul, Every trickle taking away the [...] Try this: And the rain poured, each drop washing my soul, every trickle taking away the [...] What do you think? It's entirely up to you, of course. What part I liked best: I really liked what you said about playing what my soul needs to hear and also the sky sheds its cleansing tears. Beautiful! Overall impression: It's a feel-good poem! I enjoyed it. We had some rain here yesterday, along with rumbles of thunder and it was HOT! But it was wonderful! You've done a really nice job with this. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ") A "Simply Positive Review Forum " Review My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
|