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 Review #4243697 |
| Howdy! I'm glad I found your story. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful. Remember, this is just one opinion, so take what you like and leave the rest. Everything is said with love and in hopes that it helps!  Overall Impression: I was drawn to this because it was a true story. How humiliating, but I appreciated reading it...and was glad it wasn't me. lol Sorry for that situation, though! Grammar and Mechanics: "...enjoys his “low profile”." If you're from Europe, this is correct. However, if you're from the U.S., you always put the comma and period inside the quotation marks. Question marks and exclamation points vary, depending on the sentence. (In Europe, periods also vary. I don't know about commas over there.) "He has 4 round trip runs he needs to finish." Technically, this should be "four" instead of "4." "As a younger driver his patience wears thin at times and he can become testy, if he has the perception..." There should be a comma after "driver" but I'm not sure it's needed after "testy." "...and would always locking on the eyes of the little old nun..." I assume you meant "...and would always lock on..." Also, I'm used to hearing it said, "...always lock eyes with the little old nun..." But maybe it's a regional thing. "Friday at last, he said to himself with a sigh." I've noticed you sometimes switch back and forth between present and past tense. Don't worry. I do it too...in pretty much everything I write! lol "He was embarrassed beyond anything he’s ever felt." You forgot the space before the beginning of this paragraph. "She said in a soft whisper, I understand but I’ve been driving with you the whole week, I never thought you were capable of such language." You need quotation marks in this paragraph. "He couldn’t find a place small enough to hide or crawl into..." You also need a space before the beginning of this paragraph. Suggestions: "He’s the kind of driver that goes about his business in a quiet fashion and enjoys his “low profile”. He’ll go out of his way to help any passenger, sometimes to the dismay of other passengers." I feel like there should be a transition between these two sentences since they seem a bit at odds with each other. Most folks who keep a low profile don't go out of their way to help others as that would make them stand out. Perhaps leading the 2nd sentence with "however" would help. Favorite Part: "A little bit of a background on the driver." I appreciate this. Great idea! Thank you again for sharing your story! Keep writing!     WHITE WALKERS WIN  
 
 My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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