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Review #4244201
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Review by Starling
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  
Rated: | (4.0)
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Title of Work: : Touch (Fiction, Contest Entry)
Author of Work: :Evermore
Date: : July 26, 2016

Plot:
Describing a scene using only touching words; (An exercise in show don't tell)

Scene/Setting:
A woman is feeling very uncomfortable in her dress. She feels it pull and push on her skin. She feels it rub, sensitizing the already over sensitized skin. She has to walk down a long staircase. The beading at the bottom of her dress catches on the thick carpet and makes her feel like she is wearing a bell. Each step throws the skirt forward. Her feet are hurting because her shoes are too small. When she reaches the bottom of the stairs, her feet hurt even more, because she has moved from carpet to hard unforgiving marble of the bottom floor of the house. People reach out to try and touch her. They rub their fingers on what bare skin she has been allowed to have. Walking out the door she heads for the beach. She kicks off her shoes and moves her toes in the soft cushion of sand. The water is right in front of her. Slowly she walks into it. Then dives head first. Her body gives up the confines of skin and she becomes the sea again.

Characters:
Girl headed for the ocean.
People trying to touch her.

Suggestions:
This was interesting. You did an excellent job. Touch can be a hard thing to discribe without falling back into over used words. I enjoyed it very much.

Character Count: 1,218 (tags = 173 Characters above this point)
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