%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4244563 |
 | Sanctuary  [18+] Writing challenge accepted!  |
| (2.5)| Review brought to you by: "Game of Thrones" by Gaby ~ Just tired  PLOT - Interesting prologue about high school, and how the cliques divide and conquer, being a cruel as possible, not even showing their teachers respect. Your main character tells the story of the popular crowd and how she doesn't fit in, observing all of the nasty behavior of her peers. SETTING - Good descriptions of the gym as they do yoga and Jade and Sienna bash other students, even the gym teacher before Sienna gets yanked out by her ear. The last few paragraphs as well added a lot of visual elements as your main character is down on the ground, yet out of her body looking on. The sexual imagery worked well to show how girls were being perceived. CHARACTERS - Your main character is an outsider, made fun for how she dresses. GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE - No errors. The dialog is really telling of the way teens speak to one another now. It's like there is no filter whatsoever. THOUGHTS - I wish your main character had a name. That is the only thing that bothered be about this prologue. A lot went on for your character, and the ending was a surprise, which is a great hook to get your reader into the first chapter. Solid beginning for a novel. Think about adding her main characters name so the reader can connect to it and know who they are identifying with. Write on!   
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