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Review #4245370
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 The Sirens.  [E]
the Sirens song should always be feared.
by inkwell
Review of The Sirens.  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E)
A group whose mission is to spread positivity.
#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello inkwell

This is an evocative poem about the legend of The Sirens that lure sailors to their deaths. Your use of rhyme and short lines give the poem good pacing and it flows well.

The line 'their eyes do gleam' seems a little awkwardly phrased. Much more natural to say 'their eyes gleam'. To put the extra syllable back in the line you could perhaps give their eye colour eg. 'their green eyes gleam'. That's only a suggestion though.

You also use the word 'Thats' which needs an apostrophe before the s.

Otherwise I spotted no errors and enjoyed reading this poem. Always good to see the old myths and legends retold for new audiences.

Best wishes,
Mark


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