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Review #4246118
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of Anna  
Review by ~ Aqua ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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A Review from "SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" 


Hello, OOT™ ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.


The format of your story was good, it was easy to follow and the story looked appealing. There was proper paragraphing and spaces given where required. The plot was good too about a girl going with a stranger and seems like she had some psychological issues with her.

The setting here was good, a lonely girl with parents divorced and she is alone at school and goes with a stranger thinking she had no one to return to and who would care if she was gone with someone. The length of your story was good and reasonable as the story demanded.

I love dialogue. I take note if it has any or if it has the character's thoughts. There were only a few dialogues in your story which, in my perspective, were appropriate and they did not distract the reader from the story and kept the reader engaged in the story and keep reading it. They were done correctly and the dialogues were not mixed up with any others'. The point of view of your story was third person, very powerful, clear and vivid, the reader was able to imagine the whole situation.

The story must not only be told in a logical order, but must have a feel to it. The flow of your story was good and there was nothing which I did not understand and needed to read it over again. The story was told in a logical order and the reader could feel being there and as if she was watching a movie.

My favourite thing about your story was the emotion of being 'hopeless', having no hope of a better life and having the feeling that you have nothing. The feeling of depression and tiredness from her parents' divorce and their conflicts had a huge and severe impact on their child but they failed to realise it and help her get through. I liked how well you expressed the feeling of grief and all the emotions that filled me with pain as well for a while and I am glad I have my own and entire family with me. It was very sad to see that the child was affected in such a painful way due to the conflict between the parents due to which she became psychologically unstable and wanted attention and when a stranger gave it to her, she readily agreed.

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