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Review #4246489
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Review by Shaye
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Hi drjim,

I am Lorraine and I am reviewing your piece "Invalid Item"  today in affiliation with "Simply Positive Review Forum " .

Title: Only you could make what could have been a very generic title for a short stories folder and flip it on it's head. Quite literally here. Story Shorts has a nice ring to it, and is far better and eye-catching than Short Stories. Great title. *Thumbsup*

Thoughts and Suggestions: I spent a long while travelling through your port, before ultimately deciding that I'd comment on a whole folderful of awesome stories, rather than just one. Short stories are my favourite type of writing to read, besides novels, so it's a shame you don't have a few more in here!

I've obviously read and awarded your Spirit Eagle story. I'm curious, the title of it currently says Chapter One. Does that mean there's possibly more brewing? *Delight* That story was well-crafted within a reasonably short time-frame. It was very enjoyable, and it did leave me wanting to read more. What is Spirit Eagle's destiny here? Hopefully more will be written so I can find out!

The Rock Gods is also an enjoyable story. I'm curious as to where you're going with that one too! You've got a couple of first chapters hanging around, but no second ones. The readers need more than the first chapter! I admit, when I first read the title, I didn't think about literal rocks, my first thought was music-related. *Laugh*

Spelling/Grammar: No errors spotted in the folder! And I don't recall spotting any in the stories I read within. Admittedly, I wasn't paying all that much attention to the grammar as I read. Put it this way, there's no very noticeable grammar errors; none that interrupted my reading enough for me to notice anyway. *Laugh*

Closing Thoughts: Thanks for this folder full of entertaining reads. Now, go out there and write the second chapters to these stories with only a start, and not an end!

Lorraine


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Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were going to do anyway! Robert Downey Jr.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/30/2016 @ 12:15pm EDT
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