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 Review #4246616 |
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| (5.0)| Howdy! I'm glad I found your story. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful. Remember, this is just one opinion, so take what you like and leave the rest. Everything is said with love and in hopes that it helps!  Overall Impression: This is an amazingly powerful piece! Thanks for sharing it! Also, thanks for the links--especially that sand art one--wow! Grammar and Mechanics: "...in a brightly lit warm room..." There should be a comma after "lit." Suggestions: "... radioactive lava of Reactor number four." I'm not sure why "reactor" is capitalized here. I'd suggest either not capitalizing it, or if you insist, capitalize "number four" also since that's the name of the reactor. Favorite Part: "The oldest would be old if they reached double digit age." That's an interesting way of putting that! And it's also so sad! "Their faces were granted something in common; hollow eyes that had never known hope beyond the orphanage. They ignored the glaring cloudless day. Their world was constantly foggy and cold beyond measure. This is a very powerful image here! Incredibly well written! You're so talented! "A deniable legacy that will spread invisible ripples of deadly influence, across the Earth for thousands upon thousands of years. It would take thirty years to build a safer confinement costing a global sized fortune, and only to last a tiny span of a hundred years." Wow! How sad and scary! "Небезпечно для життя! Забруднення! Заборонене доступ!" Adding that is a GREAT touch! And I'm impressed that you knew how. lol "Their status would be assessed by enthusiastic, albeit exhausted, medical staff, who loved each and every one of these little ones, catching them in hands outstretched like baseball gloves, as they fell through the cracks of human existence...and human rights." That's really powerful! But I'm glad to hear that at least they were loved! "This quality of life changing benevolence is impossible to access here." HOW SAD! I recall that when, I believe it was the Kursk (spelling), a Russian sub, went down, America offered to help because we actually have sub rescuing equipment, but at first Russia declined. By the time they agreed, it was too late. I really wonder how many things America has declined or denied and people ended up suffering or dying because of political pride and prejudice. "Google us...please Google us...we promise to be good children..." WOW! What an ending!!! Thank you again for sharing your story! Keep writing!     WHITE WALKERS WIN  
 
 My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 08/29/2016 @ 7:12am EDT