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 Review #4246959 |
| Review brought to you by: "Game of Thrones" by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation  PLOT -A couples car breaks down and they find themselves stranded. They manage to find an old hotel and take a room for the night. After a little sleep, strange thing begin to happen that leave then fleeing in horror. SETTING - There were some good moments of description, and some areas that could use more to really plant the image in the readers mind. For instance, when she goes to the fridge and finds rotting food, you say what it smells like and nothing more. What did it look like? Adding other senses to these big moments really drive the point home. Good job in the beginning describing the hotel lobby. CHARACTERS -Michael who doesn't care about getting the car just wants the hell out of there. His girlfriend who wakes from nightmares, to explore the creepy hotel and finds the body. GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE - It didn't even have a sign, it just seemed to pop up from nowhere. Was he the one who screamed or where~~were their others in the hotel? My boyfriend who must have heard me screamed and poked his head out of the door. Dialog was fine. No other errors. THOUGHTS - It's hard to get a lot into a small word count. The story flowed well as you built up the suspense and creepy things began to happen. If you decide to edit this piece, think about adding more senses in your description to draw the reader in further. Write on!   
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