Title of Work: : The Layover (Work in Progress) (Short Story, Erotica)
Author of Work: : Onyx: a Purple Maniac
Date: : July 31, 2016

Plot:
"When An Unexpected Layover Strands Emily & Winston, Inconvenience Turns To Something More."

Scene/Setting:
Emily is sitting in an airport, in Miami, Florida, because he flight has been delayed at least two hours. While she was waiting, she noticed a nice looking man sitting across from her, who was noticing her. He finally comes over and asks her a question. He asks how long she has been "in the business." Emily tries to make him think she has no idea what he is talking about. Eventually he introduces himself as Winston Adams, screen name Johnny-14, as in a fourteen inch rod, between his legs.

He finally recognizes her as "Mandi Mouse", also a porn star, but one who has received awards. Winston also realizes, Emily is not interested in letting others know her creere choice, so he returns to his seat. She feels like a jerk and goes to him asking who he works for. When he tells her, she goes on her phone, and calls her agent to have him checked out. Apparently he is exactly who he says he is.

Characters:
Emily
Winston Adams

Suggestions:
This is a good set up to a story. Your characters are all ready showing strong characteristics. One problem I did see though, is you changed Point of View (POV) twice in the writing, without showing any type of division, such as "*****" or "--------". I use a lot of head hopping in my writing also and love the process. I look forward to reading more about your characters.

Character Count: (tags = 173 Characters above this point)
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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .