I am reviewing for Game of Thrones on WDC. This review is meant to help not hinder.

Line 7 happiness , laughter (take out the space. I also recommend you add either a comma or period after every line.

rhythm - There is good rhythm. The poem is easy to read through. It doesn't seem to be confusing in wording, but I don't understand the story behind the poem.

Here's the way I see it...
Chara 1 - Bill
Chara 2 - Clara
Bill calls Clara at work and gives her some news. Not sure if it's bad or good news. I am hoping for good. Anyway, Clara then goes into this description of Bill and the relationship they had; at the end Clara states Bill shattered her heart and mended her soul. It doesn't make sense on a break-up level.
BUT after thinking about it. Bill calls Clara with news of the death of her mother. Now the description makes sense because it describes Bill supporting Clara through the loss of her mother. that makes sense. Am I right or am I totally left field off?

Overall very descriptive. Thank you for sharing, Keep writing.