Hello, Wake Up!

Saw that you'd already written a novelinee for this week's challenge and so thought I'd take a gander. I'm pleased I did because this is a very interesting poem that says as much about Dave as it does about you! ;)

I love how you 'demonise' Dave as the harsh taskmaster, who would criticise your rhyme, but then rehabilitate him with a smile and show how he only wants you to do the best you can and make your poetry shine… to dare to walk the Ode less Travelled by. ;)

A few thoughts.

The guidance notes said this form should be in iambic pentameter. Perhaps give that a go. It makes the poem sound smoother with that meter. :)

I didn't understand the line "with compiled rhyming of late on the wall" Did you mean something like "with dodgy rhyme that doesn't work at all"? (Note this example employs imabic pentameter, where the stress is on evey second syllable. Read it aloud and you'll see what I mean)

Shouldn't Bards' Hall be capitalised and with the possessive apostrophe after the s?

Thank you for sharing!

Best wishes,

Bob :D





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .