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Hi Christopher Roy Denton ,I found your writing as I browsed through your portfolio. Hopefully this review will find you in good spirit.

On Title/Subject
Thomas Jefferson's Legacy is a great title for this very beautiful uplifting, historical although fictional scene from the former President's life.

An American Founding Father and the principal author of the Declaration of Independence (1776). He was elected the second Vice President of the United States (1797–1801), serving under John Adams and in 1800 was elected the third President (1801–09). He was responsible for breaking with the UK and becoming an independent nation. Your piece is set in 1813 or something like that, since Thomas is almost 80.

Throughout his life, the third President of the United States, Thomas Jefferson, owned hundreds of African-American slaves and his position on slavery has been studied and debated by his biographers and by scholars of slavery.

In 1806, Jefferson denounced the international slave trade and called for a law to make it a crime. By 1808, every state but South Carolina had followed Virginia's lead from the 1780s in banning importation of slaves. (Wikipedia)

So I'll suggest that your Thomas Jefferson is TOO OLD in the story. You have to make him 72 or something.

General impressions
I loved this very beautiful and vivid, almost prose poemy like, flash fiction. Your choice of words is great, I had to look up a few words which I love doing since I then learn something aswell, being from a non-English speaking country.

The historical setting was very good, the dialogues were believable, it was very swift paced and I loved your writing style.

Favorite Parts
“M-manumission? But that would be tantamount to admitting paternity. I must do right by my family.”

“Your white family,” she snapped. “What about our children's right to the pursuit of happiness?”

It's at the heart of your piece.

Final thoughts
All in all a treat to be able to read and review since this is such a wonderful piece of writing. It may be fictional but it very well could have happened just the way you described it. Thanks for sharing.

Keep up the good work, enjoy writing!

WakeUpAndLive

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