*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4251869
Review #4251869
Viewing a review of: {citem:}
Review of  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Balloony*Hail Alcides! *Wink* I am here with a review for the "a very Wodehouse challenge"  as I think your piece is truly an original! *Star*

*Smile* Your intriguing title caught my eye on the short story genre page. The concept of dimensions is interesting and I was curious. The tagline about your fly on the wall muse was fun too.

Your first paragraph drew me in as I found the flow of language and image appealing! I enjoyed reading the detailed descriptions and the voice of the main character was consistent! The writing in the I voice is a challenge and you really brought me into his observation and concept of his understanding of grades. The unfolding of how his "reality" is so different from the one he is in now was well shown. It is cool that from the simplicity of the POV of the grade A and F--gives the opening to the contrast of the two places---which we hope to see more of as the tale progresses.

Your writing style is appealing and I liked the added alliterative bits that create a dramatic flow. Vocabulary is interesting and well chosen. The names are illustrative of the nature of the teachers and people and the name "NEO" works well. He is truly the different one in this world. *Thumbsup*

*Quill* I wasn't sure what a "spell of three" was. *Confused* and wondered about "I did for the sake of .." i wanted to ask "did what?" though I think it refers back to the previous line , you might want to add "did it" in that case.

I really thought it was a fascinating and fun read. I had to laugh and your references to contemporary movies etc added to draw us into your view! I laughed at your post notes too. The detective's hat makes sense-- you will hopefully unravel something more in the future.

Thanks for sharing this entertaining and odd story! *Starstruck*

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!*Star*
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 08/21/2016 @ 9:56am EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4251869