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Review #4251917
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of Autumn  
Review by A Non-Existent User
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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"Simply Positive Review Forum " 

Greetings, ~ Santa Sisco ~ }


This is your local Simply Positive Reviewer, here! Your writing has been selected for review, as part of Simply Positive's mission to bring more light on Authors here at WDC!

First Impressions: "Invalid Item"  is a poem that that heralds my second favorite season in a year - autumn. I found this free verse poem to be accurate in its depictions of a series of images that certainly take us to those cold mornings where hoar frost awaits the sneakers of our childhood, disappearing from windows at first light.

I do think, however, that migrating birds DO sing; or...at least they communicate. *Smile* Remember those big birds above that travel in large "V" formations and speak almost constantly?!? *Bigsmile*

One of the last birds to migrate - the hermit thrush - is thought to be North America's most beautiful songster, regardless of where it resides in what season. (Though,indeed, some of its most lovely songs are heard at impossibly early hours in morn, deep in forests, while scratching leaf litter from the wooden floor.)

A lovely poem by all means!

Thank you for reminding me of my second most favorite season!



Overall Impact: A breath of cool, Fall air is always most pleasant to me. I enjoy the imagery of the signs of autumn, whether they be initial, mid-form or late.

We just spoke of it this morning, Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH and myself, looking closely at the leaves upon the japanese maple that graces the side lawns...

Always have time for such beautiful verse, especially with nature poems aimed at the season!!



Errors: No errors per se found. I did see a sequence that might be better expressed. Let me show you what I mean:

Taking a line from a previous segment of the poem, I found it as follows...

"...scattering petals afar. - - - (italics mine)
Color
drained from gardens,


And thought perhaps the scaterring of petals afar just might be better visually speaking if it were to come after the color being drained from gardens? I only mention this as a "cause and effect" perspective that I wanted to share with the author. It is beautiful either way, just thought the image would be more powerful if we see colors being drained first, then could "explain" it within our mind's eye better as per my idea.



Summation: A nicely written poem about autumn indeed! Thank you for the invitation to read/review with your latest Noticing Newbies NL out most recently!!

Keep on writing!!!!!!!!! *Bigsmile*




Once again, thank you for providing me the opportunity to read and review for Simply Positive; this also has been written in affiliation with
GROUP
The Witch's House  (13+)
Webbie's Home for Witchy MBs and the Bank for TheWitch's Garden!
#444444 by Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH



Yours,
"Dr.J"


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