Hello, tanya !

What a wonderfully emotional piece! Love it!

What I particularly liked about your cavatina was the way you injected humour into the lines, such as hubby might be upset over the coffee mug rims and the vision of mess everywhere, which I'm pretty sure is only in your imagination. ;)

But the twist at the tail is perfect. You build up the stanzas toward a point where the protagonist appears ready to throw in the towel and give up everything, and then a sudden injection of reality both twists around her viewpoint and the poem's ending. Wonderful!

In terms of possible improvements, there's not really much to say. I mean, I note you use 'coffee' twice, and that could possibly be avoided, and the use of the verb 'sports' in that position sounds unconventional to me, but I understood it and also it may be a standard usage, say, in the US. Also, in the UK we'd say 'utility room' rather than laundry, but again, I understood it, and I believe that's the term used in many places, so I certainly wouldn't change it.

Thank you for sharing, and Write On!

Cheers,

Bob :D




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