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 Review #4252354 |
 | Remnants  [13+] She looked at the dark landscape. "Sins of the fathers." A Short Shots Entry  |
| (4.0)| Hello 🌕 HuntersMoon, my name is Tiggy and I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering! Please bear in mind that my comments and suggestions are only my opinion. Other reviewers might see it differently.The opening paragraph immediately made me wonder about the spelling of ‘coffee’ and the significance of it, but it became clear quite quickly what had happened. You also gave sufficient explanations why the changes had come about. The tale was a bit light on descriptions, I thought, and without the image prompt, I’m not sure how well I would have been able to imagine it, but it was clear how the picture inspired this scene. What struck me about this story was how well the main character was drawn. I could imagine her so clearly, the way she pondered how the world used to be and tried to pass on that knowledge to her son. The family unit, to me, was the most important thing in this tale, and it came across quite well that this was the only thing that was still functioning in this world. The part with the orange was quite poignant as it showed the joy the child got from something so basic that wouldn’t interest most children in the western world these days. The plot was sufficient for a short piece like this and you concentrated on showing the two characters going about their lives in a quiet and accepting way. Neither of them had known a better world and they simply put up with the hardships and inconveniences. The dialogue worked well to show their relationship and also that they both longed for a better place they only knew from stories, and this wasn’t the first time they tried to imagine what it would have been like. The story was very polished and I didn’t notice any technical errors. If I wanted to be very picky, in this part, The cover was a dark green ... She opened the cover I found the repetition quite noticeable, but that’s easily fixed and hardly worth mentioning in an otherwise very well written story. My favourite element of this tale was the interaction between the two characters which was so natural despite the circumstances and showed their relationship very well. A good story, I enjoyed the read!    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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