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Review #4252360
Viewing a review of:
 Healing Pool  [18+]
The hidden pool had powers WC 1589
by Quick-Quill
Review of Healing Pool  
Review by Tiggy
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)


Hello Quick-Quill,

my name is Tiggy and I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering! Please bear in mind that my comments and suggestions are only my opinion. Other reviewers might see it differently.


That was an intriguing story! At first I wondered how it related to the image, if they were already in the cave at the start, but then it all became clear. You used the prompt quite well and came up with an interesting purpose for the pool, and you even explained the lightning at the top. Once they were in the cave, I could see how it inspired this story.

The way you introduced the two main characters was nicely done. Their situation immediately became clear even if you didn’t go into too much detail, and they seemed like they were quite good friends, although it turned out one didn’t know as much about the other as he thought. The part where Merc explained everything to Nickle was perhaps a little rushed, and since you had a few hundred words left to play with, I wished that you had taken more time to go into more details there and perhaps showed Nickle’s emotional reaction a bit more.

I found the idea of the plot quite interesting. The idea of the people who appeared normal but had special powers is of course not new, but you gave it a bit of a spin since the situation included a wounded soldier who needed their help. The conflict arose not so much because of that, but because the other character not only found himself thrown into the middle of it but also learned a lot about himself in the process. I liked it that you presented him with some explanations before he was ready to understand and needed to have the blanks filled in later; it made it interesting for the reader because they couldn’t immediately guess what was going on.

The dialogue sounded natural and was necessary for the readers and the character to understand what was going on. Your descriptions were sufficient for the readers to be able to picture the scene, but at times I would have liked a bit more detail. The part where they mysteriously travelled from the place of battle to the cave was nicely done, but then you moved to mainly dialogue where it might have been a good idea to include a bit of narrative explaining where the characters were in relation to each other or what their facial expressions were.

I noticed a lot of typos as I was reading and it might be a good idea to get those fixed – most of them will pop up if you run spell check so I won’t point them all out here but they were quite distracting.

Overall, a good read! *Smile*



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