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Review #4252385
Viewing a review of:
Descending into Freedom  [18+]
Two friends have to become lost in order to find themselves.
by Graham B.
Review by Tiggy
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)


Hello Graham B.,

my name is Tiggy and I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering! Please bear in mind that my comments and suggestions are only my opinion. Other reviewers might see it differently.


It seemed like you took the image prompt, broke it into all its elements and used every single one of them in this story. It wasn’t hard to see how the image inspired this story, but you didn’t leave it there. You weaved a story around it that was deeper than the lake in the image, had more layers than the rocks in the cave and was both darker and lighter than the picture. The characters, both of them, were well drawn, and the challenge they were facing wasn’t really anything to do with the cave. It prompted the conversation and the fight, but what concerned them was a lot deeper and went back years. They both had a unique voice that showed their different personalities, and I could imagine them arguing very well even though the physical descriptions were a little sparse.

The plot was more than engaging; I always find it fascinating to read about their backstory and how it affected their lives and how they ended up in the cave. The structure worked well to make sure that the story was easy to follow and you revealed the details at a good pace, enabling the readers to feel for the characters and understand their different opinions. The dialogue was excellent, it sounded natural, conveyed character and advanced the plot, and since the story was mainly dialogue with only a little narrative around it when necessary, I felt drawn into this tale as if I was listening to the two of them argue.

The descriptions made it easy for the readers to imagine the scene, and I loved some of the details you used, for example this line,

The two men scuffled, their grunts echoing eerily off of the cavern walls like a demented musical number.

Technically, the story seemed perfect to me. I didn’t notice any errors and I was in awe of your ability to show this tale rather than tell it to the readers. It flowed very well and the length seemed to be just right. Overall, as you probably guessed by now, I loved this story; it was a pleasure to read!



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