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Review #4252405
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Review by Tiggy
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Rated: | (4.5)
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Hello CJ Reddick,

my name is Tiggy and I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering! Please bear in mind that my comments and suggestions are only my opinion. Other reviewers might see it differently.


The cave and the lake from the image prompt featured prominently in this tale; in fact, they were responsible (in a way) for the main character’s demise. But the lake also provided him with his last meal, horrible as it was. It was clear how the picture inspired the story; I was struggling a little with the descriptions. There were some, but at one point the underground cavern was simply “beautiful” and the lake “beautiful” and “horrible.” But apart from those words that weren’t very descriptive, I could actually imagine the scene quite clearly.

The narrator’s backstory was tragic and helped explain his state of mind when he found himself in this hopeless situation. It was quite poignant how he figured that it was his fault simply because he wasn’t there, although he couldn’t have done anything about it. But there were other parts as well that defined his personality well, for example how he explained about the root that tripped him, or the passage about eating the fish. Those details helped make him a well-rounded character. Being trapped presented him with plenty of conflict, and I liked how you weaved his backstory into the tale, as a short flashback that explained his state of mind and his decision at the end – it came up a couple times through the story.

The descriptions were good; you provided enough for the readers to imagine the settings in general. The story was quite polished and I only have a few small comments:

Nature had always been refreshing to me. A walk in the woods near my home had always eased my nerves
The repetition of the word “always” was quite noticeable here and I would suggest omitting one of them.

I suppose the water would be washed that away
I think that was meant to say, “would have washed...”

a completely empty stomach h
There was a stray letter at the end of that sentence that shouldn’t be there.

Overall, I thought the story was quite unique, and I enjoyed the read!



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