** Image ID #2093814 Unavailable **

Hi Annette ,I found your writing as part of the I Write Challenge. Hopefully this review will find you in good spirit.

On Title/Subject
To my honest opinion the title Overworked had nothing to do with the storyline. It is the short story of a man who is messing with his secretary while his wife and sun are on holiday. He may or may not be overworked, but that is not in the story. Also the sub line had not much ado with the story, I'd suggest you take another look at it, although it is a story from 2009.

General impressions
I liked the story very much. It is swift paced, in a clear writing style I like. The dialogues, character building and psychology of the two characters involved are very good.

Favorite Parts
The first six days of her absence Conrad only went home to sleep. Luckily his pet, a Doberman, was happy to frolic about the large yard where he had freedom to roam, doze in sunny spots or eat to his heart’s content from the large dish that was put out for him in the morning.

It is a nice description of Conrad's life without the wife and son. I especially liked the Doberman and how he was behaving while his boss was at work. Hilarious.

Suggestions
There are two suggestions I like to put in front of you; First about rethinking the title. Secondly I missed a few lines in between the scene where she is talking about her job and the scene where he is putting an arm around her trying to kiss her. To my opinion this is too abrupt to be believable. There is no indication that he would do such a thing, and you make it more believable if you have one or two sentences as an enticer to the upcoming facts. Now I find it out of character and therefore I have trouble believing (in) the rest of the story. Although he is being portrayed in the second half of the story as NOT a nice man to begin with.

Final thoughts
All in all a good story about the indiscretion of a boss towards his secretary. Thanks for sharing.

Keep up the good work, enjoy writing!

WakeUpAndLive