Hello, Ed!

What I really like about this poem is the occasional mentions of the sea and connections made between that and your relationship. Dawn is a bit of a tired metaphor for beginning a new relationship, but dawn over the sea is something that bit different and more interesting. I particularly liked 'the mist shrowding the point'.

Personally, I feel that the layout of the poem would be better with a break between each five line stanza, though it's only aesthetics and nothing to do with the words.

I'd also like to see less 'sun rising/first light etc' and more about the sea mist, hoisting the anchor, setting a new course etc. Reading through, it just seemed like you were saying the same things about sun rising with different words, but the sea metaphors used were all aresting, fresh and interesting. More of those, please!

Thank you for sharing.

Cheers,

Bob :D




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .