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Review #4252865
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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, Newbie! Welcome to WDC. *Vine2*
This is a Simply Positive review!


*Tophat* I have to tell, you, your title caught my interest, and here I am.


*MustacheR* I also love the Hallmark Channel, especially around Christmas time, when they have new movies each week and some old favorites from previous seasons that we could just watch over and over again. I love the classic videos and have purchased a few of them, so I can watch them whenever I felt the spirit of Christmas in me, even if it is in July.


Observations

*Web3* This piece would read better if you got rid of the extra exclamation points. The reader understands you enjoy the Hallmark Channel, so those are unnecessary and distract from the article.


*Faucet* Also, I suggest getting rid of the Capitalized words. I know you are trying to add impact and make a point of the fact that there is wholesome entertainment offered on these two channels, but it also is distracting.

Suggestions:

*Ax* Rather than using the above mentioned points to give emphasis about your love for the channels, why not show the reader examples of why they might be interested in watching it.


*Plane* You gloss over the fact that it has wholesome family entertainment in genres that will appeal to most viewers.


*Wind* Instead of "I grew up enjoying in the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, and even into the 90s." which contain a bunch of numbers -- also distracting, why not show us what you mean?

Example:

"I grew up watching the television series, "Bewitched." The Hallmark Channel has its own version of a woman who seems to magically make things happen around her town. It's called 'The Good Witch.'"

*Magnify* If it's detective mysteries you enjoy, then you'll love the (insert particular mystery series you enjoy, such as "Gourmet Detective") and compare it to one of the old TV series, where a woman detective solved the cases. Like Murder She Wrote, for example, except it has been modernized to appeal to a wider range of viewers.


*Knob* These are just a couple examples of how to really convince your readers to watch your favorite channel. As it sits, your article is a little incomplete. It needs more flesh on its bones, and your statements about the greatness of the channels needs to be backed up with some examples/facts, that help to make your case. This will be how to add emphasis without the capitalization, and the exclamation points. You will win the reader over with the facts. As I stated above, I am already familiar with the channels and I don't need convincing. However, your readers may need more convincing.


*Owl3* This article can be a great one, that sets a good example for worthy television programs and how much better folks would be if they tuned in once in a while to watch some with their family. It brings togetherness and perhaps popcorn together with a good movie or series.


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 08/23/2016 @ 11:04pm EDT
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