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Review #4252952
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Rated: | (4.5)
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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" 

Hello there, Newbie! Welcome to WDC. *Gear*
This is a Simply positive Review!

*RainbowL* I'm dropping by with another review of an item in your portfolio that I saw on the Read A Newbie, page.


*Lightning2* This was quite a display of imagination the dad had in this story. I liked reading along with his sad note being written whilst the man struggled amid terrible conditions aboard a ship. He was a prisoner there, and was treated cruelly. Although he managed somehow to have a cookie on his food tray and somehow grab a bottle of wine. I bet that made his stay a little more bearable.*Laugh*


Observations:

"Oh, Maggie, the barbaric conditions I endure on this ship are too much to bear...!"

*Spider* I suggest getting rid of the ellipses and and ending the sentence at bear.

*Ax* Also, There is an overuse of exclamation points in such a small piece. Not necessary, the reader understands the dire situation and feels the guy's urgency to get a message to his loved one.

Otherwise, this was a humorous flash fiction that was also entertaining. Humorous ending. *Ha*

*BulletR* I had to change the content rating on this item due to the reference to an alcoholic beverage. (wine)

Well done!*Sun*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 08/24/2016 @ 2:13pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4252952