Hello Warped Sanity !

I am your local and frolicking SB here. I'm reviewing today on behalf of the Simply Positive group. I hope this review gives you a little bit of sunshine for your day.

Below is my review of your item beginning with Corrections:

Corrections/Suggestions
First impression- I came across this poem and it was a featured and highlighted item in your port. I've come across pieces of yours before and I like how you take on darker subjects and spin them poetic.

With heart now pure

You monogrammed my heart a...

I would play with the repetition of the word 'heart' within the last few lines of this poem. You do a great job with descriptive words really giving this such a strong feel to it so that was the main part where I felt the repetition of 'heart' so closely together kind of lessened the effect of the word if this makes sense.

The only other thing is the usage of 'I felt...' since this has more of a passive tone for the set-up of this poem. I feel like 'I felt that..' puts us more in the backseat so to speak. I would maybe suggest playing with this but only if this doesn't affect your style you've chosen for this poem.

Rhythm/Rhyming

I love that you include the style of your poem and a link to research it. Sometimes I can feel like a poem is created with a certain style but I'm not sure if I'm correct. This has the: Rhyme scheme xaxa xbxb xcxc, etc. dd. x being unrhymed. The end couplet is rhymed. You kept within this rhythm/rhyming scheme and I didn't find any areas to correct with this.


Things Which I Enjoyed
I felt your scent that lingered honeyed prints
Of sweet allure

These first two lines and your last ending two are extremely strong. I love the sound of 'lingering honeyed prints' there's just a way that when you say these words they sound great together. Also, the imagery is strong within this poem too. You use words to the highest advantage of building up these beautiful feelings and sensations with this love and how they cause you to experience these sensations.

It's hard to convey those feelings and to spin it metaphorically and poetically and I feel like you've done a good job with this task.

Overall Comments
Overall, this is a poem of yours, yet again, I've thoroughly enjoyed. It's unique how you spun things and I think I remember you may have said someone told you this was a more cliche take on romance? I don't see that personally because you have all unique aspects within here because of how you have the scent going on, the impressions they leave, caress, just basically engaging the five senses with this small poem. I hope this little review of mine is helpful. Thank you for sharing and keep on writing!



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .