Greetings Schnujo is Late to Lannister

I am reviewing "Hook to Book, Round 3-Sheriff Sam Rabbit"  today as part of the "The Chapter One Competition." .
THANK YOU FOR INCLUDING OUR MANDATORY PHRASE, "HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN, WDC!" IN PARAGRAPH 17!


In the interest of clarity, I will be using the following conventions in my review:
Your Words: Bold Black{}
My Impressions as I read: Bold Green
Editing Suggestions:Bold Red


OVERALL IMPRESSION
Very cute story of Sam the bunny who is sheriff of the forest. He tries to help the other animals in the forest and things don't go his quite the way he plans. It's a very endearing story.

What I Liked Best:
Sam was funny as he thought things through. He was eager to help everyone, even though some things puzzled him. Good descriptions at the ravine really set the scene.

WRITING SKILLS AND CRAFT

Opening Sentence:
Good visual of Sam pinning the star to his vest.

Opening Paragraph:
Straight to the point. We know who Sam is and what he's doing and why.

Plot:
Sam is a bunny standing in as sheriff of the forest until an election can be held to appoint someone permanently. He is off to help poor Kat find her rhymes, but gets distracted by an emergency.

Character Development:
Cute characters. Same doesn't care how he got his position and really wants a hat to complete his look. His outlook is refreshing and has a good sense of humor. He is happy to help anyone, no matter what situation that may thrust him into.

Dialog:
Flowed really well between characters. Inner dialogue of Sam was great and really showcases who he is.

Spelling & Punctuation:
No errors

Grammar:
No errors

Continuity:
Smooth chapter that moved at a strong pace as Sam was called into action.

Form:
No issues

Clarity:
I know what the plot is and where its going.

Hook:
Sam helping Kat find her rhymes, but not knowing how to go about that.

CREATIVITY and PRESENTATION

Structure:
Solid first chapter and i want to read on and follow Sam on his adventures. The only thing missing for me was that I wondered what the weather was like and if that effected anything happening around them.

Figurative Language & Vocabulary:

Rhythm & Meter:
Good rhythm to the story


CLOSING STATEMENT
Very enjoyable. Strong characters. Good setting and description.

Purple is House Florent



Gives us this:

A CHAPTER ONE REVIEW
Sponsored by the NEW Novel Workshop
The opinions contained in this review are subjective, with intent to be honest and helpful.
Please take that which you find useful, and toss the rest with good cheer.


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .