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Review #4258568
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*Bookstack* *Books3**Books4**Books5**Books6**Books1*
A CHAPTER ONE REVIEW
Sponsored by the New Novel Workshop
The opinions contained in this review are subjective, with intent to be honest and helpful.
Please take that which you find useful, and toss the rest with good cheer.


Greetings Elle - on hiatus:

I am reviewing "Invalid Item"  today as part of the First Annual "The Chapter One Competition." .
THANK YOU FOR INCLUDING OUR MANDATORY PHRASE, "HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN, WDC!"

*Bookstack* What I Liked Best:
How hard I was laughing!

*Bookstack* Opener:
Hope goes to the farm. Hahahaha!

*Bookstack* Plot:
Except Hope has no flippin' idea of what to do on a farm, so she... HAHAHA. bought it. HAHAHA

*Bookstack* Character Development:
Jake is her next door neighbor. He's handsome and rugged. And he knows about farming. He raises his eyebrows more 'n once at our girl Hope when she outlines her HAHAHA plans. For the OMG *Rolling* farm HAHAHA!

*Bookstack* Dialog:
Dialog was perfect, especially as Hope tries to come across like she has a clue, but she doesn't So, she invites him over to dinner. But she doesn't know how to cook either. And then I was laughing so hard I don't know what happened next.


Couple of things I want to share.

And I'll tell you as soon as I

Can get myself together.


Okay.

Squelch. Lose this. You don't need it, and it's a gimmick that's beneath your writing caliber. You can put it out to pasture. . . with the sheep. HAHAHAHA . Oh. Sorry. *Happycry*

She gave a weak laugh and felt her face heat. Here is where I started laughing. But to keep it more in the moment, you might want to dump the filter. She gave a weak laugh and her face heated. *Laugh*But you don't have to if you don't want to. *Rolling*

Imaginary The end Here is where I stopped laughing. After a while. *Shock*

I wouldn't change a word. Oh, well, yeah there is that one word. I would dump that one. Oh, and that filter. I would lose that too.
Thank you for this. I so needed it.
Carol

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/11/2016 @ 8:31pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4258568