Greetings, lezismore-moreislez ! Thank you for submitting your entry in the "Writing 4 Kids Contest " .

Prompt: Use the following words in a story (750 words or less) or a poem (28 lines or less.) Please bold the prompted words or use colored font (or both) so they stand out. *Wink* If you prefer to underline your prompted words, that's fine, too. Just as long as the following words are easily spotted.

buried treasure
alligator
missing shoe
camp
pail

How exciting for you to be thinking of writing more chapters after this one! Writing adventuresome stories is fun, and most kids enjoy them. With the uncle gone, and Remus and his wolf--Sandstone--walking through the maze, things start to happen! As with any book, it's important to grab the reader's attention right away. I also like how you end the chapter with questions. I'm sure teachers would like that, too, as it would make for discussions and predictions. Nice work!

There were some punctuation issues here and there that you might want to revisit.

You referred to the wolf as "it" a few times and later, as he. You might want to be consistent with "he" throughout.

I also noticed a few missing words, which I know it's easy to do when you're on a roll and the words are pouring out so quickly! I do the same thing, believe me.

I just want to make one last suggestion, which I wouldn't bother to do if I didn't like it. Be careful about introducing too many characters within a short time-frame so the reader doesn't get too confused. Action is important, of course, but also be wary of too many things happening in the first chapter. You obviously are excited about this story and have lots of ideas, I'm assuming. It's hard to contain your enthusiasm, which I can definitely feel! I'm excited for you to continue this story!

I believe you've got a great story started here with the first chapter, and I'm guessing from the title, that the boy and the wolf will be spending some time in the maze.

I especially liked all the suspense you have created. And you leave the reader hanging! Nice work!

Best of luck in the contest!

Have a great day and...
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !

Cubby ")



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .