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 Review #4259294 |
 | Howl  [E] The call of the wild is strong.  |
| (4.0)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"    HI Dawniebelle! I am here with a review to celebrate you!   I have often heard wolf calls and your title called to me! Your personification of the the wolf is wonderful and I could visualize his features from your clear descriptive images. It was pleasant to read aloud and the question at the end has a mournful tone, as if he is waiting long and wondering. One thought as I was entering your vision was that the adverb "softly" seems redundant. You have the evocative word "padding" which suggests quiet and the next line you say he does not allow a sound.  Adverbs are not as descriptive in any case and I think it adds to the flow and potency of the line to drop it.Also, there are a number of gerunds in the first verse. I think it would be mre powerful to change 'piercing" to "orbs pierce the dark" to have a direct action happen as he is padding, and searching. It will fit well with your next verse as well. I stumbled on "gaits achieved" and not sure I get it. I like the "loping gaits" picture. I would use consistent punctuation to assist the flow and drama. What you have is well done but then some places you have none. Periods maybe after "around", "night", "me".  Your wolf persona is a tribute to the clan! Thanks for sharing this vivid dream vision. I loved entering into the moment. It is well worth tweaking.  Light on the path as you write on!! eyestar ** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **
 My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 09/15/2016 @ 5:53pm EDT