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 Review #4260584 |
 | A Fantasy Adventure Interactive  [18+] A Fantasy Adventure Interactive where you call the shots.  |
| (4.0)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"    HI Jeary! I am here with a review to celebrate you!   I enjoy fantasy and I think it is a great idea to have an interactive in the genre. Medieval Fantasy gives a fine tuning for setting and time line. Your opening page is brief and gives the basics and gives a few paramaters and this chapter is vital for the beginning of the story.  Your description of the races is interesting and give a good idea of their essence while leaving room for authors to build on them. Your choices given are useful to make sure you get characters for all races.  It is unusual to have orcs in medieval times. Mermaids are a unique and fun choice.  A few glitches I noticed: In the paragraph on the Fourth race--- typo: "a humans" >> "a human's".In the Mermaid part two instances of the word "there" should be "their" to show possessive. eg. "their abilities", "their nature", "their unique .." "they're" means 'they are' Both is Mermaid and Orc part you use "they're " for "their". You need a few commas where you have longer sentences with phrases. eg. after adverbs and between descriptive phrases as you tend to use long sentences. I think the phrase "which leads us to choice" is redundant.   As I read ahead I see you have done a good job of getting character choices ; eg, male, female with a brief encouragement. Looks like some interesting entries already! Thanks for sharing your vision and offering an opportunity to write in this vein. I don't write stories but I do enjoy adding snippets, so I am sure others will too.Light on the path as you write on!! eyestar ** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **
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