*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4260665
Review #4260665
Viewing a review of:
 Invalid Item  []

by A Guest Visitor
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings, I'm pleased to review your tale for "I Write..."

First, I like the title. Along with the first sentence, it foreshadows the theme of the story. I also did not expect the twist in the ending. *Thumbsup*

The opening paragraph introduced the characters and the essence of the story, then the next provided detail, moving the story forward, and the final the resolution which recalled for me the story in the title *Wink*. The final image, resolution.

Flash fiction is a tough write and this story is well met within the flash fiction requirements *Lightning*

I find but a few places where I was pulled a bit out of the story. I like the tale in first person, the experience vivid, engaging the senses. Consider an alternative, however, for repeating "surrounded by" within the first two sentences. Perhaps the second occurrence, consider "in the midst of shards of glass." ?? The images in the first paragraph are so vivid that the extra explanation feels extra. Consider removing the explanations of Fear and thought, and keeping it immediate.

Again, a splendid twist to the finish.

Thank you for this creative story.

Write On!!
Kate


** Image ID #1925425 Unavailable **
Kate's Reads










*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4260665