Hello, GerMac

What I liked

I liked the element of 'found' poetry in your verse — the way you've taken concepts from the Bible and a quote from eleswhere and blended them into a menage of ideas that puts across your point.

What might need work

The scriptures you've selected are deep and complex in their own way. I felt when reading this that you didn't reach into those depths and adequately make the connection you were attempting to make; that you didn't explain the difference between hearing and understanding as expressed within the Parable of the Sower.

Also, the connection to the modern day — to your own personal Bible studies — for me didn't adequately meet the concept of 'humbling ourselves like children'.

I feel you have a rich ground to plough here, but that instead you're scratching the surface.

Think about more emotive things than attending Bible study that will resonate with your readers on an emotional lever and make them FEEL something as they're reading. Or, at least show an action that is humbling and so agrees with the concept, eg.

We kneel before the One who made us all,
while knowing all's for naught without His grace.'
God's children shall be nurtured in His hall,
No matter what their status, wealth or race.

The better scripture-linked poems I've read, which I could never hope to immitate, link specific verses to events like the recent earthquake in Italy or the shooting in a Florida nightclub, really connecting God's Word to the modern day.

But, S T Coleridge wrote that the best poetry is inspired by the Spirit, so pray and hopefully your pen will be guided the right way.

Thank you for sharing!

Best wishes,

Bob :D




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .