Hello, Draper91

What I liked

I like how you've expressed your feelings and anxieties within poetic words and images.

What might need work

Reading your poem, I felt that some of the rhymes felt forced. If you follow this link, rhymezone can help you find better rhymes.

I think you mean "rim" not "rime".

I personally found the use of archaic pronouns strange with modern syntax.

http://www.rhymezone.com

Thank you for sharing!

Best wishes,

Bob :D



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .