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Review #4262377
Viewing a review of:
Hail the New King!  [13+]
Quote: "Majority - time to pause & reflect" Mark Twain - second place, Project Write World
by THANKFUL SONALI Now What?
Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello THANKFUL SONALI Now What? of Team India. I'm Charlie and I'm one of the essay judges for this round of "Project Write World" . Thanks for sharing your essay, "Hail the New King!"  with us. I hope this review finds you well. *Smile*


I learned a lot about India from your essay. I think you did a great job of bringing the prompt into the essay and explaining some of the issues in your country and how they could be fixed if people in the majority would rethink their position. I think it's so easy for problems to go unnoticed when you aren't the on personally experiencing the problem. In most of these incidents, there are clearly things that could be done to help the negative situation, but those involved don't see the clear solution right in front of them.

I found myself empathizing with the scenarios you wrote about here and the underdogs in each example. It breaks my heart that the resources aren't there to help mentally challenged children and all the other children who are getting their educations interrupted by a lack of adequate programs for the children who need specialized attention. I think there are a lot of buzzwords and euphemisms these days that really mean something is a half-attempt at solving a problem. "Integrated education" sounds flowery and nice, but really means that the schools are going to be overworked and understaffed. It's sad that the solutions are often so poorly thought out and executed.

For me, the one issue I had with this essay is the way it jumps around from example to example. I think it can be a bit hard to keep up with an essay when there aren't clear sentences that introduce a conclusion to one topic and an introduction to the next. I felt like the ending about Mrs. Chanda Schroff was quite relevant to rethinking your position in society and what you can do to be a part of the solution rather than part of the problem. The only issue was that this seemed to come after what I would consider the conclusion paragraph rather than before. It made the essay end a bit abruptly, in my opinion.

Other than that, I think you did a great job of showing us what your country is like and how so many of the social issues you experience there could be solved with a little more 'pause and reflect' just as the quote prompt states. Really great job with this, Sonali! It was a pleasure to read. *Heart*

Best wishes,


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