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Review #4262386
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Review by Charlie ~
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Hello zwisis of Team Africa. I'm Charlie and I'm one of the essay judges for this round of "Project Write World" . Thanks for sharing your essay, "Invalid Item" , with us. I hope this review finds you well. *Smile*


This essay is an incredible example of how we have to remove ourselves from the side of majority sometimes in order to get a clear picture of the state of our own lives. I will readily admit that I knew very little about Zimbabwe going into this essay. It sounds as though you've gone through a great change in belief system along with the rest of your country, which is amazing given the amount of time Mugabe has led the country.

The way you described white-owned farms being overthrown was absolutely horrifying. The fact that the current leadership tosses that aside by stating that Britain should pay for it makes it even scarier. I can't imagine being put in a situation like that where something you had worked so hard for was just ripped away from you. The 95% unemployment statistic is absolutely startling and the way they get around that number by calling a huge percentage of the people "informal traders" is just another government scam.

I loved the way you opened this with a personal anecdote. This is something that is used effectively to hook the reader in essays and it worked well here. The entire essay was wrapped up in perfect form with an introductory paragraph that wrapped back around in the end. In between, there was the "meat and potatoes" of the essay that delved into the history of Zimbabwe and the current state of the country, along with your personal experiences there. It's amazing that Mawarire was able to unite your country with his video and it's so sad that he has had to flee his home to just to keep his life.

Your use of resources to cite the facts of your essay were perfectly placed and absolutely vital in proving that what you're saying has roots in reality. Your grammar was impeccable; I saw no errors. Thanks for informing us about the state and his story of your country. *Heart*

Best wishes,


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