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Hi Sand Castles Shopgirl 739 , I found your writing at the Please Review Page. Hopefully this review will find you in good spirit.

On Title/Subject
The title and sub line are very well chosen and it clarifies the story without giving away anything. A very well written short story on two girls who have befriended and are going to be separated because of a house move.

General impressions
You have a nice writing style and the pace of the piece is great. I loved the way you let the main character Lucy tell the story in the first part of the tale. The second part has a different POV. The story has a beginning, middle and end. The character development on Lucy was great, the other girl Molly could perhaps use a line or two to flesh her out more. The ending was surprising, I liked this mystery a lot.

Favorite Parts
A search of the third floor did not turn up the bear. Molly then said that Lucy loved playing in the backyard by the old tree. Maybe she was out there. They all headed out back and there under the tree was Molly’s bear, but Lucy was nowhere to be seen. The bear was sitting up against a small gray stone that was near the back of the tree.

It is the heart of your mystery and it gives a little away of the big surprise ending.

Suggestions
You change POV a few times, maybe you should try to divide those scenes with POV-change with a blank line. For example: So I guess I will just have to hope another little girl and her family move in soon. Hugging the bear, the little girl went into the back yard and sat under the tree to play with the bear. A blank line between the two sentences will make the reading easier.

Final thoughts
All in all a charming little story that turns into a mystery at the very end.

In retrospect the part where the parents hear about Lucy's story and decide to move on is important to the tale. It makes the surprise of Molly's mother a bit overrated since Molly's mother knew that Lucy was not among the living anymore and that their daughter Molly was playing and talking to a ghost. Perhaps if Molly read what was on the stone it would be even more convincing.

Thanks for sharing.

Keep up the good work, enjoy writing!

WakeUpAndLive