I found your story on the Read A Newbie pages. Your title caught my curiosity, so I stopped in for a read.

I liked this story on several levels. Firstly, it was succinct. It had a message to deliver to the reader and did so without mincing words.
Also, the story had a character that captured the reader's attention, for it was easy to feel her anticipation about passing this very important test.

I also loved the fact that this story had a great moral in the ending of it. It craftily tells us, that if we stick to something, and try a little harder we can succeed. We just can't ever lose sight of the big reward at the end, even if we feel like we've failed before, we can take that opportunity to push ourselves harder and never accept that we are finished.


Observations:
"... she had missed the mark by 3 points, she was branded." [three points] It is better to write out a small number, especially in a short piece, such as this one. It is less distracting to the reader.

"Instead of accepting this fate, Lin continued to keep her nose in books and eventually opened her on [own] tech company which is ranked third in all of China."

This was a fine read, and will be just the right reminder for students worried about their future, and how they can overcome their fears by working harder in their studies.

You responded to this review 10/18/2016 @ 3:47am EDT

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