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Review #4269021
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by A Guest Visitor
Review by Cat Voleur
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)

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*Dragon2* DISCLAIMER *Dragon2*

I am not a professional editor or critic. All the opinions in the following review are just that; opinions.


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Hello,

I stumbled across this item while looking for things to review for one of my groups, and I thought I would drop by to leave some notes.

Overall I think this was a great piece. It was short, but it carried a strong emotional impact and the sentiment behind it was really, really beautiful. This is a great way to show appreciation for the people who brought you up. Thank you for sharing it with the site - it's always nice to find these heart-warming poems.

The one thing that I would suggest is rephrasing the opening couple.

When I was lost on the street of life,
My parents took my hand when I was confused.


Because of the word when being used at the beginning and end of the sentence, this just felt a little awkward to me, and I had to pause to think about it. Not a huge deal, just a small suggestion to an otherwise flawless piece.

Great job! I'd be happy to read more of your work at any time.

All the best,

-Cat


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