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Review #4275596
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by A Guest Visitor
Review by April Sunday
In affiliation with AUTHORS DISCUSSION CLUB  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
November 17, 2016

Dear Donkey Hoetay Your story (entered into 2016's "Invalid Item"  is simply amazing. Granted building horror that be of the "intruder" in the home of "Rachel Steinbok" takes a bit of patience ---

However, IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER ---

LIKE: "My heart marched up the avenue of my heart ..."

"manufactured bravado"

"epic production"

A dispatcher's nonchalance === as if "reading directly from a recipe book"

All of these details are very, very good. Classic use of words exacting an ulterior way to relate the tale for various paragraphs.

Like: "She spilled onto the floor like a discarded plaything ..."

and "breathing nightmare."

The title SIX BREATHS FROM OCTOBER is catchy and also memorable.
Often folks (onsite and offsite) might choose what to read by an attractive title like this one. Excellent!

Then ... mid tale this reviewer goes -- aloud, mind you ---

OH NO! Not the poltergeist! Between me and you, and PRP (PubRevPg) I scared my own cat.

And into the foray, bongo drums, a trip to Rio and well --

Suggest a serious place to hark this one, which is publishable material by all means.

Rev sent cordially from TEFF -- teffom@writing.com
New handle: April Sunday
"Invalid Entry" 


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