This was hard to read.
But surely it is a need.
Hopelessness is the emotion,
rushing like an endless ocean.

The stanzas are graphic,
the symptoms described, classic.
The flow is smooth and emotionally charged,
the character within is scarred.

The pace is not a race,
and grammatically speaking nothing detracts from the pace.
Changes are not needed; however the reader is curious as to what the "numbers" are that you include in parenthesis. Perhaps a pop note over the first one will explain the following occasions. This writer is thinking calorie counts?

Write on!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .