Hello, Dave

What I liked

What a wonderful poem. I love the structure and the emotions injected into your story, especially the resolution. I love the structure.

What might need work

I didn't see any real problems with your poem, hence the rating. I did think that 'stagnant' might work better than 'putrid' because urine can't technically be putrid, but like the assonance with 'u', though 'stagnant' goes well with 'scent' to my ears. It also struck me that the fires are in oil drums rather than barrels, though again the barrel/fire 're' assonance is cool.

Thank you for sharing!

Best wishes,

Bob




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .