Hello maryccasey!

This is your local and frolic like Sb here. I'm reviewing you on behalf of the Simply Positive group. Let's get rolling!

Corrections/Suggestions

First impressions- I came across this piece of yours thanks to the 'I write...' contest. The Tweet Contest is a hard one because you have to get your story down within 140 characters or less. The first part of this was a little more on the telling side. Here's a suggestion if you wanted to play with it:

Lilly loves Mimi's Xmas tree.- I feel like this part can either be removed, or you can describe what makes Mimi's Xmas tree in particular special. Besides this one sentence, I really love the humor in this very short, bite-sized story.

Things Which I Enjoyed
The humor is great within here, you even provide us with a punchline within the 140 characters. Which is great, because this isn't an easy thing to do. I love how the kid loves this 'ornament' and the grandmother immediately is like hey... I don't have any ornaments like that in my tree.

Overall Comments
Overall, this is a fun little tweet sized piece and my only thing was the first sentence within here. It's just a little more telling but this is just a suggestion you can play with. I hope this little review of mine is helpful. Thank you for sharing and keep on writing! =D



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .