Greetings, after reading aloud your lyric words; I offer my thoughts on the images I see, the vision I perceive, and the voice I've heard.

Overall: I had fun reading the poem, creative images, a snapshot blending fantasy with the mundane - the form is well met, with both alliteration and syllable count.

Reading aloud: Strong opening evokes a medieval image of valor as a story unfolds in this brief verse. The quote a nice touch, a scene within the 'story'. The alliteration falls evenly to the ear. And the conclusion, fun and vivid image called out well in the shift of rhythm.

One spot I note, the second from last line, where the image feels a bit forced to hold the syllable count and alliteration. Consider a similar lyric pattern, more active, to that of the first line as a lead-in to the finale, i.e., something like, "Can coax..." ??? - the second last line, where I'm taken out of the story a bit.

I'm really glad to have read this creative (and fun) poem for "I Write" and look forward to reading more of your work

Write On
Kate
** Image ID #1939830 Unavailable **


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .