This dark little poem is a wonderful example of the Tanka form (which is one of my favourite forms - like an extended haiku). The poem meets the syllable count for the form and I spotted no errors. You've chosen your words carefully, the poem flows well and you've packed a lot of dark, creepy atmosphere into few words. It gave me chills.
Very happy to give this a full five stars. Great read. I look forward to checking out more of your work.
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