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Review #4281303
Viewing a review of:
 Champagne Resolutions  [13+]
Word Prompt: midnight, horse, tipsy, resolution, kiss, champagne, party, strangers
by Prosperous Snow celebrating
Review by A Non-Existent User
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Eagle Eye reviewing


Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating
         I have just read your poem "Champagne Resolutions"  and would like to offer my thoughts on your work for
FORUM
I Write in December-January-February  (E)
Write and review once a week for the three coldest months of the year.
#1906302 by Annette


*ConfettiV* Spine-Tinglingly Good Bits
         What I particularly like is how well you have included the prompt words in your poem. It can be difficult to make such a diverse collection of words chosen by someone else read fluently and naturally, but you have pulled it off and written a beautiful, meaningful poem.

*Confettir* Language/Imagery
         I enjoy words/phrases you use like resolution filled glasses. This is such a lovely twist on describing people making new year's resolutions. the wild horse of time is another lovely phrase, showing the reader the randomness and arbitrary nature of time. You have a deft touch with imagery.

*Confettio* Content/Sense/Meaning
         It is a vivid description of various New Year's Eve celebrations, and contains a lovely sense of hope.

*Confettig* Structure
         The flow and the pace of the poem are smooth for the most part although I felt the last verse was perhaps a bit jagged. Perhaps separate the first line into two which makes it visually tighter. It would also the give you verses of three, four and five lines consecutively, which is a nice structure.

The biggest block party
on the planet ends,
as the baby New Year
rides the wild horse of time
into the sunrise.

*Questionb* Suggestions for changes
(including grammar/punctuation/spelling)

planet ends, no comma necessary here.
Other than that, I see nothing else that needs to be changed.

         It was a pleasure to read your work, and if you'd like me to reread it after you have done any editing, I'm happy to do so.

Keep writing!
*Smile*


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