Hello, Chris Breva

What I liked

This is a really sweet sonnet. I love how you have the girl doll plead with the boy to play with her. It's a very original idea.

What might need work

You seem unsure whether or not to use speech marks. Since the whole sonnet is the spoken plea of the angel doll, I really don't think you need speech marks at all.

A traditional Shakesperian sonnet would have the rhyming scheme ABAB CDCD EFEF GG, but you use AABB CCDD EEFF GG. Nothing wrong with a bit of variation on the theme, but I thought I ought to point out the variance.

Another difference is that you're not using the same metre on each line, and many lines are not written in iambic pentameter. If you wanted this to be in traditional iambic pentameter, then the stresses on the syllables in every line would follow the sound pattern: "and one, and two, and three, and four, and five," for example:

I am a doll and yet I am alive.
I need your love in order to survive.
Please pick me up and play awhile with me;
That's why he put me underneath your tree.

If you're unsure where the main stresses arise on some of the words, this site is very useful:

https://www.howmanysyllables.com

I know you'd rather have something else boy - you need a comma before "boy", because he's being addressed by the doll.

Thank you for sharing!

Best wishes,

Bob



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .